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Windmills of the Minds

Counselling & Wellbeing Services for adults, young people and children

'When the wind of change blows, some build walls, while others build windmills'

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My Blog


Recovering Relationship Ruptures in Parenting- Mini Blog

Posted on July 4, 2016 at 1:15 PM
Below are some questions that can help heal past parenting relationship issues and understand yourself as a parent. It helps to ask these questions without judging or blame, this is about understanding, then being able to take action to improve relationships, our own well being and parenting. 

Write down five words which describes what you feel towards your parents or did do?

Did you want something from them that you didn't receive, what was this? What difference would this have made to your relationship?

What might have prevented them giving you what you needed?

How can you give yourself what your parents were unable to?

What do you struggle in giving to your children as a parent?

If you have children, what helps you bond, feel close with your child?

How important was it for you to feel loved and accepted as a child?

How might you start to give yourself that love and acceptance now and if you have children, to them if you don't already?

Do you have support in parenting?

Can you recognise your parents strengths and your own? Name these?

Have you happy memories from childhood, what were these doing?

Non of us are infallible, we all make mistakes, nobody is the perfect parent. Trying to be will mean we only end up feeling endless guilt. If we can forgive ourselves and our parents for not being able to give us everything, imagine what this would feel like?
We sometimes repeat patterns of behaviour, whether building or damaging relationships. Learning more about your own parenting, your relationships, your behaviours can help you be less stressed, assertive and creative in parenting. Also creating healthy attachments.

I am currently writing some Mini booklets. 

Early warning signs of mental health in children/teens, what and who can help?
Ideas on how best to manage testing teen behaviours?

These will be at a price of £3.50 via email and £5 for a posted hard copy plus PP. If you are interested in purchasing these, please email me your details.

I look forward to hearing from you.
If you want to read more on how to gain more practical face to face support with parenting visit my website.

Categories: Parenting

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4:20 AM on August 27, 2016