Windmills of the Minds Doncaster Counselling/Parenting Programmes
Doncaster
Windmills of the Minds
Counselling & Wellbeing Services for adults, young people and children
'When the wind of change blows, some build walls, while others build windmills'
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My Blog
Posted on December 2, 2014 at 2:49 PM |
‘Money
cannot buy life’ Bob Marley Christmas can be an incredibly joyous time for some, or an
incredibly difficult, sad or stressful time for others. It is good to consider
what stresses we can not avoid and ones we place on ourselves that could be
avoided. Such as spending too much money or over committing to please everyone.
This can cause feelings of guilt, sometimes resentment. We may feel guilty for having to let people
down, or resentment for feeling pressured to be somewhere you don’t want to be.
Making conscious choices helps to ease these feelings. However, these feelings
are natural and inevitable at times. Rather than feel bad for feeling these emotions,
not judging ourselves for having uncomfortable feelings and thoughts will
create less stress for yourself and others. Separated parents often experience stresses and strains at
this time. How will my children feel? Who will have the children on Christmas
day? Will we take it in turns or split the day? Who buys what? For many families this will create anxiety, stress and
sadness. Dealing with being alone on Christmas day without your children will
create mixed emotions for many. We need to allow time to reflect and let
ourselves feel these emotions. Suppressing them only makes them stronger. Many elderly people will sit alone at Christmas, maybe not
even have Christmas lunch or get out of bed. People with alcohol abuse, addictions, will inevitably find
this time of year challenging and tempting to fall back in to their old
patterns. The families of addicts will also suffer at these time due to their
anxiety, for e.g. worrying if there partner will not be there for family get together,
will they spend money on drink or other addictions. ‘It is worth considering a
plan of action to tackle these issues before they arise. For people who have been bereaved, whether this was at
Christmas time or not, this can be an extremely difficult time for them to
cope. It feels like everyone is having a good time, happy and with the ones
they love. They experience feelings of loneliness, depression and will immense sadness.
Anxiety sufferers will find that they start to feel
increasingly anxious. The crowds in the shops, the noises, having to spend time
with family and groups of people can be enough to trigger strong panic attacks.
For people with issues affecting healthy mental health,
already feeling isolated and vulnerable, celebrations can be a trigger to
feelings of sadness, fear and sometimes suicidal thoughts. Students may be far away from their families and struggling
financially if they cannot afford to go home. Especially overseas students who
will be far away. Some ideas and
suggestions of surviving Christmas. A plan of action
helps to prepare ahead. Setting budgets and sticking to them. Writing lists.
Having realistic expectations of ourselves and others will reduce pressure.
Doing something out of the ordinary. Getting some rest and relaxation time. Time
out, a walk in the fresh air or relax in the bath. Plan to visit or invite
people over. Not everyone likes Christmas or celebrates it and if don’t then
that is ok. Become a volunteer. At Christmas charity shops or other
services need help. Also you could become a volunteer for ending loneliness. http://www.thesilverline.org.uk/ Helpline over Christmas Hopefully if you do celebrate Christmas, this can be a great
time to reflect, spend time with others who we rarely see. Relax and pamper
ourselves, give and receive. Watch Christmas movies, go for winter walks, and
enjoy Christmas songs. I wish well to everyone who reads this, whatever you do, and
take care of yourself over the holidays. ‘Money
can’t buy me love’ Beatles Sarah Thorpe 2/12/2014 © All rights reserved to Windmills of the Minds owned by
Sarah Thorpe |
Categories: Self care
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