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Windmills of the Minds

Counselling & Wellbeing Services for adults, young people and children

'When the wind of change blows, some build walls, while others build windmills'

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My Blog


'Let go or be dragged'.

Posted on October 21, 2013 at 10:12 AM

 What emotional baggage are we carrying around with us day to day ? 

Considering what we hold onto in life emotionally will dictate whether we stay stuck or keep moving. 

Holding onto anger, hate, resentment and blame creates a sense of feeling stuck. We will feel weighed down and generally unwell. 

We may feel angry at parents, children or peers for not being there when we needed them.
We may say 'It's their fault I am the way I am'! 
'If they weren't like that id be different.' 

Shedding the responsibility  for our behaviour and our own actions onto others means we can stay happily or unhappily  where we are. 

We can convince ourselves that we can do nothing, so this is the way it is.

To take responsibility for our own actions means we can start to free ourselves from self deprecation. We can start to live the way we want to live. 
We can start to let go of all the fears that we have held onto. The what ifs ? 
We can begin changing our own ways towards ourselves and others. 
We can forgive ourselves and others for not being how we wanted them to be. We can see how life really is and not what we imagined it should be. 

At this time we may experience a sense of real loss of a life we had created in our own mind. 
Our sense of illusion turns into reality. Reality is what we have been hiding away from as it holds some truths about us, about our lives. For a while we may feel lost, confused, angry or low. These are natural reactions to the loss of our ideal self or ideal world.

When  we start taking action for own lives, we will stop to compare with others or imagine that they are living a better life than us. We will do what is good for us and good for everyone.

If you have seen the American History X, there is a scene where a man is in prison for a racist attack. He is talking to a an old teacher of his.  

The teacher asks him ' Has anything you have done ever made your life better?' 

It is one of the best questions I have ever heard and yet so profoundly simple. The impact of the question I feel is enormous.

When we ask this of ourselves this , what answers do we discover?

Seeking help through talking therapies such as counselling or support groups can help to make the load lighter and helps take the steps to create a fulfilled life.

Learn to really feel the feelings and then learn to set them free.

To watch the you tube clip of American X click on the link below 

Thank you for reading my blog.

Categories: Responsibility

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